FOMO or Fear Of Missing Out is an acronym/term that has evolved in recent years. It’s partly an offshoot of social media where everyone is constantly sharing how amazing their lives are. When we’re scrolling through our various feeds all we see is the terrific experiences and glamorous lives of others. We look at the pictures posted and contrast these with the mundanity of our morning and we’re left in a state of mourning. What’s the matter with us that our day is so banal while what we’re seeing in others appears so alluring? We want what we see others as having. We aspire and desire what we’re watching others enjoying.
FOMO is having our attention and aspirations determined by others. It’s looking out at the world and wanting what others have. It’s the opposite of being self-motivated and driven. FOMO is the feeling of despair we have when we witness a gap between where others are and where we are. FOMO is our desire to bridge that gap.
When we don’t know what we want or where we’re going, we’re tempted to look around at others. FOMO is the result of fuzzy clarity and commitment. It fills the void left from not having a personal vision. FOMO is not an experience in those that are clear about what they hold dear. Those that know they are right where they want to be and on their personal path of progress see all they need to see. They aren’t looking around at what they’re missing.
To be free from FOMO you don’t need to flee it. Instead, your future you need better to see it.
As Shane Parrish recently tweeted, “The biggest decision you make daily is what to focus on.” We have two focal forces available: what are others doing (our social media feeds) or what are you doing?
FOMO flows from watching where others go. When we’re focused on what others are up to, our attention lingers on the gap between where we are and what we see. The gap breeds a longing or desire for what’s on the other side of what we have. FOMO is about envy. Envy is when I give you power over me.
FOMO recedes when the clarity of your target crystallizes. When you know where you’re seeking to go and why you’re seeking to go there, your focus becomes not what are others up to that you’re missing out on, but what is the next best thing you should allocate your attention to that will get you to your desired destination.
In short, FOMO is the fallback for those that don’t know. Don’t know what to do. Don’t know who they are. Don’t know where they want to go. Do you want to be fueled by focus or by fear. Fear is an inherent part of FOMO. Fear of deciding. Fear of being responsible for your future. Focus is putting you on your path, your decision, your direction. Trade FOMO for making your own Mojo. Should you want to enjoy a life with No mo’ FOMO, then focus on developing direction. Turn off your social media feed and decide yourself to lead.
Choose to be the driver of your own life and not a passenger in someone else’s. Opt for your choice. Spend time getting to know yourself. What do you value? What are your interests? What are one or two things that you do well with which others struggle? Are there any of these areas that you enjoy doing more than another? Where you can find something that you find important (value), that you’re good at and that others find difficult, and you enjoy, you’re well on your way to determining the skill set you want to develop to find your place. When you have a clear aim, FOMO will no longer be part of your game.
