Ryan Michler’s first book, Sovereignty, offers a constructive celebration of masculinity as a virtue. As we approach Father’s Day in just over a week from now, perhaps there’s someone you know that may enjoy Michler’s message. He details why males are important, what masculinity is, and what values to seek to develop in order to support it. It’s a good book for any male in your life. At the root of being one’s own man is responsibility. The only way to be free is to be self-reliant. Michler refers to this self-reliance as sovereignty noting a quote from Albert Pike, “The sovereignty of one’s self over one’s self is called liberty.” If we aren’t independent, we’re dependent. Dependence weakens our character. There’s a great cost to being dependent. What is being given up? Pride, self respect, self belief, confidence, capability, drive, and much more… one’s soul. We can even begin to believe we are victims. We become easily manipulated. We feel entitled. We feel shame, bitterness, and reflect a shadow of the man we should be. Dependence can be on others as well as on excuses. Each time we tell ourselves we can’t do something or lean on someone or something for support, we’re weakening our sense of self. Michler writes, “A man who has battled for and reclaimed his sovereignty is a man who has decided to take ownership of his life and everything in it.”
Before we can be of value to others and the world at large, we must value ourselves. Michler suggests our responsibility as males is threefold. Men protect, provide, and preside. Michler writes, “A Sovereign Man protects himself, his loved ones, and those who cannot protect themselves. He provides—not just financially, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually as well. He presides in that he leads himself, his family, and his community.”
Responsibility isn’t something from which we should retreat. Comfort is the enemy. Henry David Thoreau’s observation that “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation” suggests that without a challenge we know deep down we’re living a life less than we’re capable. Michler quotes the author of Wild at Heart, John Eldredge, who wrote, “Deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.” Nature equipped men to fight. We’re bigger, faster, and stronger for a reason. We’re warriors. We must cultivate these traits, not repress them. Moreover, the most memorable experiences of our lives are likely those in which we overcame an obstacle. Where we struggle and succeed, we develop confidence. We internalize intensity. If we adopt the perspective that life’s a battle, we build an urgency and relentlessness to our approach. Societal pressures to devalue dominance, competence, and competition are a mistake. Instead we should develop our own masculinity and encourage others to do the same. Embrace your place as a male and cultivate your character. Wake up your warrior side and ditch your worrier.
Unfortunately, as our culture has sought to crush masculine traits, men feel lost. The value of men is discounted and our nature insulted. The typical response of many men is to step back and disengage. The only time men are welcomed is under circumstances of dire emergency. Whether war or natural disaster, then men are welcomed to the forefront. The rest of the time, men are pushed aside and told about how their tendencies are character flaws that should be supressed. Around the time of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine in the Spring of 2022, a meme made its way around the internet suggesting, “When barbarians are at the gate, suddenly masculinity is no longer toxic.”
Michler encourages men to avoid the toxic brew being spread by culture. Take comfort that your nature knows what’s good for you. Develop yourself and your male characteristics. Our goal is independence and self-reliance but not isolation. We can find others that value male traits and work together to help each other out. We don’t have to have all the answers. We need to work on developing our own strength, but we can do so with the help and support of others. We can be better together. He sees his job as supporting those seeking to embrace their masculinity.
Developing our masculinity isn’t easy. Separate from societal attacks on strong character, there’s a little part inside of us that is looking for the easy way. We’re our own worst enemy. Our biggest battle will be with the devil inside. We must be real about our resistance and accept responsibility for our existence. We must crush complacency and seek constant improvement. “Sad will be the day for any man when he becomes contented with the thoughts he is thinking and the deeds he is doing – where there is not forever beating at the doors of his soul some great desire to do something larger; which he knows he was meant and made to do.” -Phillips Brooks
Males are motivated by the mission to protect, provide, and preside. A Sovereign man seeks to develop his independence so that he can serve others effectively. We develop our sense of fulfillment, pride, and power from doing our duty as men to protect, provide, and preside. This is our purpose. We’re here for these reasons. It’s our responsibility to work to live up to these noble ideals.
Protect:
Biologically, men are built to protect. We should embrace our strength and put it to service of those we care about. Our first and foremost responsibility is to protect ourselves and those we care about. We need to develop our physical and mental strength in order to allow us to achieve this purpose. If we aren’t capable of defending ourselves, we and those we care about are left to the devilish devices of others. As Martin Luther King Jr. observed, “I submit to you that if a man hasn’t discovered something he will die for, he isn’t fit to live.” We derive purpose from knowing who we’re trying to protect. Moreover, the stronger we become, the less likely we will need to engage. Projecting power is a strong deterrent for individuals and nations. It’s far better to be strong and not need it than to be weak and pushed around. Michler offers the Chinese proverb, “It is better to be a warrior in the garden than a gardener in a war.”
For what should we be prepared to handle. Lord Baden Powell faced a question related to the motto of the Boy Scouts being “Be Prepared.” He was asked for what should we be prepared? His answer, “Anything.” Can we handle a power outage? Can we change a tire? Can we manage basic tasks which can help our families get through a pinch? Warriors take themselves seriously and prepare. Not just for battle, but for life. Michler offers a quote from H.L. Mencken, “Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.” It’s this type of toughness that is frowned upon today in some circles. However, it’s not advocating violence, it’s promoting virtue. We should be willing to stand for principles and people we care about.
Provide:
Michler notes that a purpose for men being built biologically bigger and stronger is in order for us to be capable of work. Michler writes, “You are a workhorse. Treat your body like it was intended to be treated in order to maximize its output.” A purpose for us is to provide. Provide for ourselves and others. Viktor Frankl observed, “A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the ‘why’ for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any ‘how.’” The deepest meaning and fulfillment men achieve is done through providing for their families. The importance of being able to provide for ourselves and others is so important that it can reasonably be considered a necessity. Consider the suffering associated with the absence of this ability. Depression and negative behaviors are associated with unemployment. Where we aren’t in a position to provide, we flounder and deteriorate. We have lost our purpose and see little value in ourselves. This hurts.
Bringing home the bacon is at the heart of being able to provide. It’s what the traditional gender role for men was. We aren’t our jobs. But our jobs are important to our psyche. It feels good to earn. We feel independent, capable, and the money we earn reflects the value we’re putting into the world. This feels good. Additionally, using the money to make the lives of those we care about better is tremendously rewarding. Providing isn’t a burden, it’s a privilege. Men gain from providing. We gain pride, purpose, and fulfillment. Even though the dependence on men for providing for families is less than it has been in the past based on increased female participation in the workforce, contributing to your family and, at a minimum, being responsible for providing for yourself remains a key piece of the male purpose.
Preside:
To preside is to lead. It is to approach life actively as opposed to being a passive passenger. It’s waking up to what Dwight Eisenhower observed, “Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run over him.” You must lead yourself first, then extend your reach to lead those you care about in your family, community, and workplace. Leading is done foremost by example. Leading is not about dictating or telling others how to behave. It’s about living intentionally and purposefully. It’s about being a role model that reflects what it means to protect, provide, and preside. It’s about providing guidance to those you care about. It’s about helping others find their way. It is a way in which we add value to the world around us. Michler notes, “People are hungry for leadership. They want direction. They want guidance. They want a sense of purpose and belonging. They want a battle to fight.” Your job as a man and leader is to show others the shiny beacon on the hill where you will lead them. Men have a moral obligation to share their life lessons with others.
As we noted, leading is about living with intention. We do this by developing core values that guide our actions. Michler writes, “Every great society and every great man has a set of rules or guidelines by which he lives his life.” He points out that even pirates had a code of conduct to which they ascribe known as the “Articles of Agreement.” Values are virtues to which we aspire. They reflect ideals we want to implement in our lives. From values, we create a code which reflects our rules of engagement. These aren’t restrictions that narrow our abilities, but constraints that guide us and keep us on track to where we want to go. Values stiffen our spine and serve as the trellis around which we develop and grow. As Ralph Waldo Emerson noted, “The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” Who will you decide to become?
Michler encourages us to pursue the principles of manhood upon a foundation built on thirteen values. He details each of these values. Self-reliance, intention, discernment, wisdom, ownership, strength, humility, integrity, conviction, self-awareness, discipline, mastery, and courage are the values Michler puts forth. Perhaps, there are some that resonate more than others. These values aren’t set in stone, but the idea that you need a code to help guide your actions is worth adopting.
Being a sovereign man is about owning responsibility for your life and actions. It is about working to be able to protect, provide, and preside over yourself. It’s about getting to know yourself and growing yourself in order to be in a position to show yourself in service of others. We can lean on the binary distinction Charles Kingsley made noting, “There are two freedoms—the false, where a man is free to do what he likes; the true, where he is free to do what he ought.” We are constantly presented with choices. Being a man is about doing what you need to do before you do what you want to do. We must embrace the opportunity to earn everything. Relish the responsibility of becoming self-reliant. Michler encourages us to “Make the Hard Path the Easy Path.” When confronted with choice, choose the challenge over the path of least resistance. Building this default will help you develop your character better than anything. John Eldredge in Wild at Heart suggests men are seeking to answer a question, “Am I enough and do I have what it takes?” Adopting the purpose of protecting, providing, and presiding will focus your energies on constructively developing your character such that you’ll know that you have what it takes and that you are enough.
